..my ken..part 2

..well here I am continuing what i had started..my life right now is all on a whirlwind situation with my ken...
i thought that we will be happy since the girl broke up with him on the day that we will be going to moalboal since , hmmm, inthe first place i kinda figured it out that saturday is there dating time so i kinda pulled out some strings that we willhave the outing saturday..,my plan did worked out and there...he was a bit teary eyed in the van , squeezing my hand and whispering..." please dont leave me...she left me , i know im a bit selfish, but please dont leave me" and i just kissed him...we did had a good time in our weekend getaway and i thought that it will really last. However i thought wrong since the girl was really that persistent to have him back. A call here and there, sms,,,ughhh..i hate it. I want toi kill her, but my ken promised not to reply to any of her messages and dont even bother answering the call... and so i stupidly did what he said. But somehow i have the is gut feeling that when he gets home, he will really talk to the girl and I was right. I gave him a week off..just a couple of days ago, I found out from the girl herself  that they got back together..it was so tragic and the world fell upon me, but madness , envy and fury cuddled my mind and I was about to kill him. at first he didnt confided , but for the evidence that I have had laid on him, he was cornered, He reasoned out that because of me promising him something that I was not able to gave him, another reason which i think he can think off that time since he was caught off guard was that he would get back at the girl for hurting him...which I thought very illogical since what the girl just did was to break up with him and thats just it, he's making it more complicated for me to think that his real reason was that, to get back at her...but i didnt bought it. He told me that he loved me with a bit of tears in his eyes but still i cant seem to believe anymore, even the fact that he did invited me to the wake of his grandfather with all the realtives knowing that I am the gay lover, but it still doesnt counfnt.Maybe Im just too complicated to love. We were supposed to meet a couple of hours ago but his phone was off, I tried calling his cousin and was told that he was not inthe wake the whole night and thathe came around 9 oclock in the morning which tells me that he was with that bitch since the phone was off the whole time friday evening..oh well, its his loss,not me......

these and all are only what I feel for now and are subject to change depending onthe expaination and depending on how I would take it..till the next continuation of my very exciting adventure with my ken..when all i got is but heartache and trouble...sad  face...