Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
the times when I cheat part 4
So I deviced a plan, that we will meet up. We then exchange information as to when and where and I had a lot of excuses just for him not to continue but he was persuasive about it and he even suggested a place at some cheap motel. I just ignored him. Friday morning came and I was so excited that its gonna be the last day of work. I was about to sleep when my sun phone got a text message from him greeting me goodmorning. He didnt even greet me on my original phone. And so I said that to myself that this is gonna be it. i replied and the response that I got was asking me about the hot friend of mine and if we will push through with the meet up later that afternoon. I was really on rage that time that i said yes and its then gonna be the conclusion of this plan. He was very eager to hear my voice so i got one neighbor to talk to him and he was partly convinced that its the real thing. He was then asking to hear the voice of my friend and he was really anxious about it, and to my rage I revealed myself.
He was shocked upon hearing my voice and he then told me that he was just playing my game. i did not believe him, who would right? It was really amazing how mean would be able to turn the story around and lets you become the culprit. He told me that he was just really pissed about what I did so he just played the game. If he was playing the game, he wouldnt delete the comments that I wrote on his wall saying that i will text him, that we will meet up soon. And he would not be giving his number in the first place and then telling me that he didnt. There were a lot of factors that would tell that his guilty and at the endpoint of it all, he congratulated me that I have won. he admitted that he was just curious about it. If he was just curious about who is texting him, after a lot of replies from me then the curiousity would just die out if, it was just plain curioiusity; but it was not. Then the regular lines that men would say, " if you dont believe me, in cant force you, its up to you," all the more that i am pissed. I decided that we meet up for us to really sort this thing off. And he was at first afraid that i will do something but I threatened him that if he does not show up, then it would be more damaging on his part considering that he is a soccer player.
He then showed up. the first exchange of words was like apologetic because he knew that he was really wrong. Men wouldnt really admit that they were wrong. But I was able to let him and it was really satisfying on my part.He even admitted to me that before when he had girlfriends, he would still look for other girls and fuck around. But the good thing about is that now, that he have me, he wouldnt. He really wouldnt admit, all that he is admitting is that he is just bored and wants a textmate and he has no plans of meeting up because he knows his limitations. After saying those words, I opted to give him another chance and I told him that the next time that it happens, no words from me, his body will just be floating at some random creek in the city and he was shocked upon hearing those words but he was able to gain back his cool and said" of course im confidence, i love you" And so we were able to sort things out and then we separated ways.
But today is my off but no shadow of him showing on my place. I told him that i would love to hear his voice over my window waking me up but it never happened.I woke up with a heavy heart again. I opted to open MIRC and luckily after 5 minutes someone wants to meet up. It was just near my place so its fine. When I got to meet him, he was more than just fine, he was hot! I asked him why he wants to do it and he just said that he had a problem as well with his girl. i said it was fine and when we started doing it, he was like shouting and cursing and good thing that there was rain because surely if there was none, neighbors would hear him. After like 5 mins of doing it to him, he told me that he wants to do it in the back and i just said yes given that it really big. But he didnt last long and exploded inside me. I asked him how was the level of service that i gave him and i got a kiss. He then bid his goodbye and promised me that there will be then a lot of time that we will do it. ooopps, now I have my 2nd FB,haha. tell next time.
He was shocked upon hearing my voice and he then told me that he was just playing my game. i did not believe him, who would right? It was really amazing how mean would be able to turn the story around and lets you become the culprit. He told me that he was just really pissed about what I did so he just played the game. If he was playing the game, he wouldnt delete the comments that I wrote on his wall saying that i will text him, that we will meet up soon. And he would not be giving his number in the first place and then telling me that he didnt. There were a lot of factors that would tell that his guilty and at the endpoint of it all, he congratulated me that I have won. he admitted that he was just curious about it. If he was just curious about who is texting him, after a lot of replies from me then the curiousity would just die out if, it was just plain curioiusity; but it was not. Then the regular lines that men would say, " if you dont believe me, in cant force you, its up to you," all the more that i am pissed. I decided that we meet up for us to really sort this thing off. And he was at first afraid that i will do something but I threatened him that if he does not show up, then it would be more damaging on his part considering that he is a soccer player.
He then showed up. the first exchange of words was like apologetic because he knew that he was really wrong. Men wouldnt really admit that they were wrong. But I was able to let him and it was really satisfying on my part.He even admitted to me that before when he had girlfriends, he would still look for other girls and fuck around. But the good thing about is that now, that he have me, he wouldnt. He really wouldnt admit, all that he is admitting is that he is just bored and wants a textmate and he has no plans of meeting up because he knows his limitations. After saying those words, I opted to give him another chance and I told him that the next time that it happens, no words from me, his body will just be floating at some random creek in the city and he was shocked upon hearing those words but he was able to gain back his cool and said" of course im confidence, i love you" And so we were able to sort things out and then we separated ways.
But today is my off but no shadow of him showing on my place. I told him that i would love to hear his voice over my window waking me up but it never happened.I woke up with a heavy heart again. I opted to open MIRC and luckily after 5 minutes someone wants to meet up. It was just near my place so its fine. When I got to meet him, he was more than just fine, he was hot! I asked him why he wants to do it and he just said that he had a problem as well with his girl. i said it was fine and when we started doing it, he was like shouting and cursing and good thing that there was rain because surely if there was none, neighbors would hear him. After like 5 mins of doing it to him, he told me that he wants to do it in the back and i just said yes given that it really big. But he didnt last long and exploded inside me. I asked him how was the level of service that i gave him and i got a kiss. He then bid his goodbye and promised me that there will be then a lot of time that we will do it. ooopps, now I have my 2nd FB,haha. tell next time.
the times when I cheat part 3
I really have a thing with trust issues ever since then. I get annoyed with my boyfriend being around yet he always looks at his phone. A lot of textmates, and when I ask him, they are all just friends. I checked his FB and there were like girls flirting and unluckily, he would really reply and those stuff. I asked him why and he told me that its just FB and it just stays there. I so I trusted him but recently, I couldnt take it anymore when I saw a post in his wall saying thayt she really had a great time with my boyfriend in some place, i checked the time and it was like after 3 hours that my boyfriend told me that he will sleep already since it was a long day for him. And that blew me away.
So i decided to to create a dummy FB account right at that moment. I started adding friends whom I dont know for almost everyday and right after a week, I had like 100 friends already. Then i added him up. after 3 days, he accepted me and like the usual thing, messaged him on private and thanked him for accepting my request. I asked some personal information, and everytime he responds, its tearing me down but I have to do this. I commented on his pictures.and it was okay for him. Then it was the time for me to asked his number and he did! he actually did with no hesitation. The next day we were together and he told me about this gay who befriended him on FB and is asking for his number and all, and I asked him, " well, did you gave your number?" and with conviction, he said "hindi", and that almost crushed my heart, goodthing I was able to control myself. after we separated ways , i constantly text him and he always replies, I asked him if we could meet up and he said NO!, at first it felt good but I took it to the next level, I offered him a deal, that i knew a girl whose really game and all and that ill let him do my friend in return ill be the one next. With no hesistations he replied "Gooow!!!!". That broke my heart. I said to my self, well he is not really deserving. I didnt text him for 2 days and I constantly get a text from him from then dummy sun number that I had, compared to the original number.It really annoys me when he will say to me original number that he will concentrate on his class yet after 2 minutes, i recieve a text from him in my dummy sun number that he is bored. It really pissed me off that I decided to just end the relationship.
So i decided to to create a dummy FB account right at that moment. I started adding friends whom I dont know for almost everyday and right after a week, I had like 100 friends already. Then i added him up. after 3 days, he accepted me and like the usual thing, messaged him on private and thanked him for accepting my request. I asked some personal information, and everytime he responds, its tearing me down but I have to do this. I commented on his pictures.and it was okay for him. Then it was the time for me to asked his number and he did! he actually did with no hesitation. The next day we were together and he told me about this gay who befriended him on FB and is asking for his number and all, and I asked him, " well, did you gave your number?" and with conviction, he said "hindi", and that almost crushed my heart, goodthing I was able to control myself. after we separated ways , i constantly text him and he always replies, I asked him if we could meet up and he said NO!, at first it felt good but I took it to the next level, I offered him a deal, that i knew a girl whose really game and all and that ill let him do my friend in return ill be the one next. With no hesistations he replied "Gooow!!!!". That broke my heart. I said to my self, well he is not really deserving. I didnt text him for 2 days and I constantly get a text from him from then dummy sun number that I had, compared to the original number.It really annoys me when he will say to me original number that he will concentrate on his class yet after 2 minutes, i recieve a text from him in my dummy sun number that he is bored. It really pissed me off that I decided to just end the relationship.
the times when I cheat part 2
And so my yosi boy was right. He is really looking forward for it happen since when he has no class, he will just go to my place and dot dot dot!.
Sometimes, he will just caught me offguard and wants me to go to his place since he just woke up and that he needs help. i felt so lucky that I met this guy yet he is just a fucking buddy and nothing else. He doesnt have a girlfriend since he does not want complications.I respected his opinion and still hoping that it will change. our latest was yesterday when me and my boyfriend had a really big fight about his textmates and meeting them up. Its gonna be another post though,haha. I was really shocked that he asked if he could get a video of me, doing it, i was hesitant at first but I said yes after getting his personal information as well as his address for me to be able to kill him once that video gets out, haha. But he promised me that it will just be for his consumption if say for example I'm not available, and by the way he delivered his lines, i believed him. It was really a different feeling when your doing it and theres a video, its awkward at first but its fun and it adds up to the thrill.
Oh well, again, Im not a cheater only when I feel that my partner is not giving me what i should deserve. Im not even asking for his whole time yet he still cant give me that. I have a recent encounter just right about before I started visiting this blogsite. And thats gonna be on the part 3.
Sometimes, he will just caught me offguard and wants me to go to his place since he just woke up and that he needs help. i felt so lucky that I met this guy yet he is just a fucking buddy and nothing else. He doesnt have a girlfriend since he does not want complications.I respected his opinion and still hoping that it will change. our latest was yesterday when me and my boyfriend had a really big fight about his textmates and meeting them up. Its gonna be another post though,haha. I was really shocked that he asked if he could get a video of me, doing it, i was hesitant at first but I said yes after getting his personal information as well as his address for me to be able to kill him once that video gets out, haha. But he promised me that it will just be for his consumption if say for example I'm not available, and by the way he delivered his lines, i believed him. It was really a different feeling when your doing it and theres a video, its awkward at first but its fun and it adds up to the thrill.
Oh well, again, Im not a cheater only when I feel that my partner is not giving me what i should deserve. Im not even asking for his whole time yet he still cant give me that. I have a recent encounter just right about before I started visiting this blogsite. And thats gonna be on the part 3.
the times when I cheat
cheating is bad but i gotta do it.
For every action there is an equal reaction.
I dont know if I'm just justifying the times when I cheat but it feels good and lets me be sane. Dont get me wrong, I dont cheat that often but only when my boyfriend doesnt do whats right in our retlationship. I have a boyfriend for 5 months now and yes we are happy generally but there are just some floss on the relationship.
I cheated not only once but a lot of times, which means that there were a lot of instances as well that my boyfriend had some wrong doings as well. To start of with the story, we were only 4 months that time and we had a really really big fight and we opted to separate ways. We've said our goodbyes and to me, that was it. Im really the bitch type so that night I just planned to buy load in a store right across the street, I was there waiting for my turn since there was this guys back blocking me since he was writing his number on a paper for his load. i waited and when he turned back, I was like, oh my!, he is so hot!damn. These are the times that people like us would really thank god.haha. so there it was my time. but i was really clever i got his phone number right after he left. And there I was with my evil plan. When I got home, I immediately texted him and normally people would reply asking who?, i introduced myself and he just laughed and told me to screw myself, at first that was really fine with me but I dont know what happened that after an hour he forwarded me a group message, and so I did some drama and asked him who he was and he just replied you texted me first. And so i decided to cut the drama and just go on with my plan. We exchanged information and all and after 30 minutes of texting, he then told me that its almost midnight and he needs to sleep since he still has a class the next morning. I told him okay and asked one last question; if he smokes. The reply was favorable and we had the same test but unluckily for him he didt had one since its midnight and the stores are closed. I offered him one stick for a meet-up and luckily this time, he said yes. His place is just a walking distance from my place and in no time, he was there at our doorstep. We were talking and laughing at first and that it was his first time to meet up with someone.
I explained to him that its fine and that I'm not some killer and all and he just laughed. One thing led to another, a stick after a stick and we arrived to checking out our phones. I showed him mine and he immediately checked if I had porn in it and luckily I copied 2 videos the past week. O he was enjoying the videos and our topic went to sex. He admitted that he already has sexual experience with mutants so I said thats great but he then stopped me and said, its just a trip, only when im up for it. And I just said, oh well, is this the perfect time now, you,me, cold evening; and he just laughed. I said that we"ll just try if it stands and he poistively responded to my offer, and so there we found ourselves in my dim room colored blue and I was taking his clothes off, he just whispered to me, "galingan mo ah", it really turned me on and when I removed his shorts, damn! mama mia! its as strong as a steel and very hot! he was just smiling and challenge me to do the best I can. With mo further adieu , I did my thing and he was like shouting and cursing and in 5 mins, he came. He was really laughing and blaming me and saying "ikaw talaga" with a smirked. I asked him how was my performance and he said, that was the best compared to the 2 previous experience and that he is looking forward to it the next time.
For every action there is an equal reaction.
I dont know if I'm just justifying the times when I cheat but it feels good and lets me be sane. Dont get me wrong, I dont cheat that often but only when my boyfriend doesnt do whats right in our retlationship. I have a boyfriend for 5 months now and yes we are happy generally but there are just some floss on the relationship.
I cheated not only once but a lot of times, which means that there were a lot of instances as well that my boyfriend had some wrong doings as well. To start of with the story, we were only 4 months that time and we had a really really big fight and we opted to separate ways. We've said our goodbyes and to me, that was it. Im really the bitch type so that night I just planned to buy load in a store right across the street, I was there waiting for my turn since there was this guys back blocking me since he was writing his number on a paper for his load. i waited and when he turned back, I was like, oh my!, he is so hot!damn. These are the times that people like us would really thank god.haha. so there it was my time. but i was really clever i got his phone number right after he left. And there I was with my evil plan. When I got home, I immediately texted him and normally people would reply asking who?, i introduced myself and he just laughed and told me to screw myself, at first that was really fine with me but I dont know what happened that after an hour he forwarded me a group message, and so I did some drama and asked him who he was and he just replied you texted me first. And so i decided to cut the drama and just go on with my plan. We exchanged information and all and after 30 minutes of texting, he then told me that its almost midnight and he needs to sleep since he still has a class the next morning. I told him okay and asked one last question; if he smokes. The reply was favorable and we had the same test but unluckily for him he didt had one since its midnight and the stores are closed. I offered him one stick for a meet-up and luckily this time, he said yes. His place is just a walking distance from my place and in no time, he was there at our doorstep. We were talking and laughing at first and that it was his first time to meet up with someone.
I explained to him that its fine and that I'm not some killer and all and he just laughed. One thing led to another, a stick after a stick and we arrived to checking out our phones. I showed him mine and he immediately checked if I had porn in it and luckily I copied 2 videos the past week. O he was enjoying the videos and our topic went to sex. He admitted that he already has sexual experience with mutants so I said thats great but he then stopped me and said, its just a trip, only when im up for it. And I just said, oh well, is this the perfect time now, you,me, cold evening; and he just laughed. I said that we"ll just try if it stands and he poistively responded to my offer, and so there we found ourselves in my dim room colored blue and I was taking his clothes off, he just whispered to me, "galingan mo ah", it really turned me on and when I removed his shorts, damn! mama mia! its as strong as a steel and very hot! he was just smiling and challenge me to do the best I can. With mo further adieu , I did my thing and he was like shouting and cursing and in 5 mins, he came. He was really laughing and blaming me and saying "ikaw talaga" with a smirked. I asked him how was my performance and he said, that was the best compared to the 2 previous experience and that he is looking forward to it the next time.
when they found out
i went back to out place to have the 40 days of my mom. At that time, my boyfriend was there since did I not mention that we are from the same place. I invited him over to see our house and hopefully to get to know my sister and my dad. And so he was there, eating and I was busy entertaining him and all the other guests and relatives, I was taking a shot here and there and I didnt notice that I was getting drunk after each and every shot I took, I dont know why. Everything turned black and the next thing I knew was that I was in my room with my cousin, changing my clothes.
Flashback.....
During the morning , everyone was just casual and I asked my boyfriend what happened last night. He was not replying and so I called him. He asked me if I could come over his house and he will just tell me everything there.
And so I went. He then told me that I was so drunk the last night and that I was asking him if he loves me a lot of times and all my relatives were already staring at him.He told me that I was asking for a kiss in front of everyone to prove that he really loved me. He didnt knew what to do that time so he just left.
It was really amazing what happened to me that night and I good thing though, I didnt even heard a word coming from my family about it. And now they know,who I really am, so what, as long as I dont kill anyone or step on others, thats fine with me.
Flashback.....
During the morning , everyone was just casual and I asked my boyfriend what happened last night. He was not replying and so I called him. He asked me if I could come over his house and he will just tell me everything there.
And so I went. He then told me that I was so drunk the last night and that I was asking him if he loves me a lot of times and all my relatives were already staring at him.He told me that I was asking for a kiss in front of everyone to prove that he really loved me. He didnt knew what to do that time so he just left.
It was really amazing what happened to me that night and I good thing though, I didnt even heard a word coming from my family about it. And now they know,who I really am, so what, as long as I dont kill anyone or step on others, thats fine with me.
the ride goin home
it was the day that i was really wanting to go home since mom is almost there, she has been in the ICU for over a month and it was the day that we did loose her. Flights were unavailable so i have to take a boat to my hometown. Good thing I was with my cousin that time so its not that hurting to travel alone knowing that I have lost one very important person of my life. We were just in our cabin, my cousin slept since she havent had any sleepy the previous night, i tried to myself but I just cant.
I opted to go out and take a smoke and have a one on one talk with myself. There were a lot of people talking laughing and most, taking pictures. I was the only one with no company and I said to myself that I guess i needed it that time. I was finishing my marloboro tens pack when i guy approached me and asked me if i had a light. and so we talked. he was just staring at me since in the first place he didnt understood what I was talking. He then begged me to just say it in tagalog.
we laughed and exchange stories about life and love, and of course, sex. I found out that he was not from cebu and he was just traveling for a meeting since he is the regional guy assigned in there company for visayas. he is taking a boat trrip to cagayan de oro since his girl is from there. I was amazed, i mean really amazed about his lifestyle, he had a lot of businesses, even exporting coffee to New Zealand to name a few apart from his being a manager. And did i mention that he is only 29 , hot, goodlooking and had a very very nice body. He is one of the socialites in manila, playing with the local celebrities we have, out of town trips with known people in the country and he has all the pictures to show it to me. He was just laughing on my astonishment. I was asking a lot of questions and he just said, " cut the crap, I know what you really want and good for you, taglibog ako ngayon". I froze and i said oh well, i do but i still would want to know as a person you know. He just laughed about it and stood and with one nod on his head, i knew he was really up for it.
And i found myself in his cabin, it was really awkward that time, having this hot guy in front of you, half naked and changing, oh holy lord! thank you! I said to myself. He then offered me a beer, and so we continued chatting about my life since all I did outside was to ask about his.After 4 cans each of beer, he then said told me to do what i wanna do. I was really shocked that a guy like this would be asking me first
. But it was really just shocking that I was not able to say something, all the more when he removed his boxers and there you go, right in front of me, a very generous blessing given to me, and he said" ano pa ang hinihintay mo, kiss?, and I said to myself, oh well, here you go. I started licking his body and I guess he liked it the way I did since he was really cursing and all. He was pushing my head down and I really knew that he was really horny already. Istarted sucking him slow and the fast, then slow and boy! I can really give a good service since he is really cursing. I decided to give him a rim since well his clean and so i did it. He was then very furios that time and was horny that he opted to offer, take note, he then offered to do me behind. I hesistated at first since his thing is big but eventually i did. It took him only around 7 minutes and dot dot dot!!! with a bang, he came. He was just laughing after and said, when he comes back to cebu, we would then do it at my place.
I then went back to my place and we said our goodbyes, up til now, we still exchange sms every once in awhile.Looking forward for our next encounter.
I opted to go out and take a smoke and have a one on one talk with myself. There were a lot of people talking laughing and most, taking pictures. I was the only one with no company and I said to myself that I guess i needed it that time. I was finishing my marloboro tens pack when i guy approached me and asked me if i had a light. and so we talked. he was just staring at me since in the first place he didnt understood what I was talking. He then begged me to just say it in tagalog.
we laughed and exchange stories about life and love, and of course, sex. I found out that he was not from cebu and he was just traveling for a meeting since he is the regional guy assigned in there company for visayas. he is taking a boat trrip to cagayan de oro since his girl is from there. I was amazed, i mean really amazed about his lifestyle, he had a lot of businesses, even exporting coffee to New Zealand to name a few apart from his being a manager. And did i mention that he is only 29 , hot, goodlooking and had a very very nice body. He is one of the socialites in manila, playing with the local celebrities we have, out of town trips with known people in the country and he has all the pictures to show it to me. He was just laughing on my astonishment. I was asking a lot of questions and he just said, " cut the crap, I know what you really want and good for you, taglibog ako ngayon". I froze and i said oh well, i do but i still would want to know as a person you know. He just laughed about it and stood and with one nod on his head, i knew he was really up for it.
And i found myself in his cabin, it was really awkward that time, having this hot guy in front of you, half naked and changing, oh holy lord! thank you! I said to myself. He then offered me a beer, and so we continued chatting about my life since all I did outside was to ask about his.After 4 cans each of beer, he then said told me to do what i wanna do. I was really shocked that a guy like this would be asking me first
. But it was really just shocking that I was not able to say something, all the more when he removed his boxers and there you go, right in front of me, a very generous blessing given to me, and he said" ano pa ang hinihintay mo, kiss?, and I said to myself, oh well, here you go. I started licking his body and I guess he liked it the way I did since he was really cursing and all. He was pushing my head down and I really knew that he was really horny already. Istarted sucking him slow and the fast, then slow and boy! I can really give a good service since he is really cursing. I decided to give him a rim since well his clean and so i did it. He was then very furios that time and was horny that he opted to offer, take note, he then offered to do me behind. I hesistated at first since his thing is big but eventually i did. It took him only around 7 minutes and dot dot dot!!! with a bang, he came. He was just laughing after and said, when he comes back to cebu, we would then do it at my place.
I then went back to my place and we said our goodbyes, up til now, we still exchange sms every once in awhile.Looking forward for our next encounter.
almost 4 months
its right about almost 4 months that i was not able to write a blog, good thing i was able to remember my password. It would be very devastating not to be able to log in knowing that this blogsite is somehow has been part of my life.
a lot of things has happened to me for the past 4 months of my life, and im gonna recall it all.
there was a time when i met a stranger at a boat, i lost my mom, we need to pay over a million for the hospitalization, i almost got the Australia Travel for free which i didnt since I dont have a passport. a lot of things really and i'm gonna tell it all here.
a lot of things has happened to me for the past 4 months of my life, and im gonna recall it all.
there was a time when i met a stranger at a boat, i lost my mom, we need to pay over a million for the hospitalization, i almost got the Australia Travel for free which i didnt since I dont have a passport. a lot of things really and i'm gonna tell it all here.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Death
Two hours before the 24th hour of my mom's death. Am staring right now at her coffin, regrets and a lot of regrets im feeling now. Im flooded by it. What could have happened if i was here on time. Could i have saved her life? Im blaming myself now for all the promises i had given her yet only partial came true. Trying to be strong for my sis and specialy my dad. I know that i'm hurting right not but i know that dad's been devastated. He loved my mom, there's no question about. I mean he never stoped lover her until the last breath. As per my dad, they were not able to talk before she left, they were just staring at each other during her last minutes since my mom could not speak, a stare, and that was it. She left us. She's gone. And we never, ever would see her again. Writing this now is accompanied by a heavy heart and a lot of tears. Goodbye mom, goodbye. How i wish you could have survived. I will always cherish you in my heart till the day i die.
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