the times when I cheat

cheating is bad but i gotta do it.


For every action there is an equal reaction.

I dont know if I'm just justifying the times when I cheat but it feels good and lets me be sane. Dont get me wrong, I dont cheat that often but only when my boyfriend doesnt do whats right in our retlationship. I have a boyfriend for 5 months now and yes we are happy generally but there are just some floss on the relationship.

I cheated not only once but a lot of times, which means that there were a lot of instances as well that my boyfriend had some wrong doings as well. To start of with the story, we were only 4 months that time and we had a really really big fight and we opted to separate ways. We've said our goodbyes and to me, that was it. Im really the bitch type so that night I just planned to buy load in a store right across the street, I was there waiting for my turn since there was this guys back blocking me since he was writing his number on a paper for his load. i waited and when he turned back, I was like, oh my!, he is so hot!damn. These are the times that people like us would really thank god.haha. so there it was my time. but i was really clever i got his phone number right after he left. And there I was with my evil plan. When I got home, I immediately texted him and normally people would reply asking who?, i introduced myself and he just laughed and told me to screw myself, at first that was really fine with me but I dont know what happened that after an hour he forwarded me a group message, and so I did some drama and asked him who he was and he just replied you texted me first. And so i decided to cut the drama and just go on with my plan. We exchanged information and all and after 30 minutes of texting, he then told me that its almost midnight and he needs to sleep since he still has a class the next morning. I told him okay and asked one last question; if he smokes. The reply was favorable and we had the same test but unluckily for him he didt had one since its midnight and the stores are closed. I offered him one stick for a meet-up and luckily this time, he said yes. His place is just a walking distance from my place and in no time, he was there at our doorstep. We were talking and laughing at first and that it was his first time to meet up with someone.

I explained to him that its fine and that I'm not some killer and all and he just laughed. One thing led to another,  a stick after a stick and we arrived to checking out our phones. I showed him mine and he immediately checked if I had porn in it and luckily I copied 2 videos the past week. O he was enjoying the videos and our topic went to sex. He admitted that he already has sexual experience with  mutants so I said thats great but he then stopped me and said, its just a trip, only when im up for it. And I just said, oh well, is this the perfect time now, you,me, cold evening; and he just  laughed. I said that we"ll just try if it stands and he poistively responded to my offer, and so there we found ourselves in my dim room colored blue and I was taking his clothes off, he just whispered to me, "galingan mo ah", it really turned me on and when I removed his shorts, damn! mama mia! its as strong as a steel and very hot! he was just smiling and challenge me to do the best I can. With mo further adieu , I did my thing and he was like shouting and cursing and in 5 mins, he came. He was really laughing and blaming me and saying "ikaw talaga" with a smirked. I asked him how was my performance and he said, that was the best compared to the 2 previous experience and that he is looking forward to it the next time.

when they found out

i went back to out place to have the 40 days of my mom. At that time, my boyfriend was there since did I not mention that we are from the same place. I invited him over to see our house and hopefully to get to know my sister and my dad. And so he was there, eating and I was busy entertaining him and all the other guests and relatives, I was taking a shot here and there and I didnt notice that I was getting drunk after each and every shot I took, I dont know why. Everything turned black and the next thing I knew was that I was in my room with my cousin, changing my clothes.

Flashback.....

During the morning , everyone was just casual and I asked my boyfriend what happened last night. He was not replying and so I called him. He asked me if I could  come over his house and he will just tell me everything there.

And so I went. He then  told me that I was so drunk the last night and that I was asking him if he loves me a lot of times and all my relatives were already staring at him.He told me that I was asking for a kiss in front of everyone to prove that he really loved me. He didnt knew what to do that time so he just left.

It was really amazing what happened to me that night and I good thing though, I didnt even heard a word coming from my family about it. And now they know,who I really am, so what, as long as I dont kill anyone or step on others, thats fine with me.

the ride goin home

it was the day that i was really wanting to go home since mom is almost there, she has been in the ICU for over a month and it was the day that we did loose her. Flights were unavailable so i have to take a boat to my hometown. Good thing I was with my cousin that time so its not that hurting to travel alone knowing that I have lost one very important person of my life. We were just in our cabin, my cousin slept since she havent had any sleepy the previous night, i tried to myself but I just cant.

I opted to go out and take a smoke and have a one on one talk with myself. There were a lot of people talking laughing and most, taking  pictures. I was the only one with no company and I said to myself that I guess i needed it that time. I was finishing my marloboro tens pack when i guy approached me and asked me if i had a light. and so we talked. he was just staring at me since in the first place he didnt understood what I was talking. He then begged me to just  say it in tagalog.

we laughed and exchange stories about life and love, and of course, sex. I found out that he was not from cebu and he was just traveling for a meeting since he is the regional guy assigned in there company for visayas. he is taking a boat trrip to cagayan de oro since his girl is from there. I was amazed, i mean really amazed about his lifestyle, he had a lot of businesses, even exporting coffee to New Zealand to name a few apart from his being a manager. And did i mention that he is only 29 , hot, goodlooking and had a very very nice body. He is one of the socialites in manila, playing with the local celebrities we have, out of town trips with known people in  the country and he has all the pictures to show it to me. He was just laughing on my astonishment. I was asking a lot of questions and he just said, " cut the crap, I know what you really want and good for you, taglibog ako ngayon". I froze and i said oh well, i do but i still would want to know as a person you know. He just laughed about it and stood and with one nod on his head, i knew he was really up for it.

And i found myself in his cabin, it was really awkward that time, having this hot guy in front of you, half naked and changing, oh holy lord! thank you! I said to myself. He then offered me a beer, and so we continued chatting about my life since all I did outside was to ask about his.After 4 cans each of beer, he then said told me to do what i wanna do. I was really shocked that a guy like this would be asking me first
. But it was really just shocking that I was not able to say something, all the more when he removed his boxers and there you go, right in front of me, a very generous blessing given to me, and he said" ano pa ang hinihintay mo, kiss?, and I said to myself, oh well, here you go. I started licking his body and I guess he liked it the way I did since he was really cursing and all. He was pushing my head down and I really knew that he was really horny already. Istarted sucking him slow and the fast, then slow and boy! I can really give a good service since he is really cursing. I decided to give him a rim since well his clean and so i did it. He was then very furios that time and was horny that he opted to offer, take note, he then offered to do me behind. I hesistated at first since his thing is big but eventually i did. It took him only around 7 minutes and dot dot dot!!! with a bang, he came. He was just laughing after and said, when he comes back to cebu, we would then do it at my place.

I then  went back to my place and we said our   goodbyes, up til now, we still exchange sms every once in awhile.Looking forward for our next encounter.

almost 4 months

its right about almost 4 months that i was not able to write a blog, good thing i was able to remember my password. It would be very devastating not to be able to log in knowing that this blogsite is somehow has been part of my life.

a lot of things has happened to me for the past 4 months of my life, and im gonna recall it all.

there was a time when i met a stranger at a boat, i lost my mom, we need to pay over a million for the hospitalization, i almost got the Australia Travel for free which i didnt since I dont have a passport. a lot of things really and i'm gonna tell it all here.

Death

Two hours before the 24th hour of my mom's death. Am staring right now at her coffin, regrets and a lot of regrets im feeling now. Im flooded by it. What could have happened if i was here on time. Could i have saved her life? Im blaming myself now for all the promises i had given her yet only partial came true. Trying to be strong for my sis and specialy my dad. I know that i'm hurting right not but i know that dad's been devastated. He loved my mom, there's no question about. I mean he never stoped lover her until the last breath. As per my dad, they were not able to talk before she left, they were just staring at each other during her last minutes since my mom could not speak, a stare, and that was it. She left us. She's gone. And we never, ever would see her again. Writing this now is accompanied by a heavy heart and a lot of tears. Goodbye mom, goodbye. How i wish you could have survived. I will always cherish you in my heart till the day i die.

...quotations2

"sometimes you cant have what you want when you want it...but that doesnt mean you can never have it..everything takes place at the right time....its not NO, its just NOT NOW...  

I believe that everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe inlies so you can learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things....can fall together..

 

 

scars remid us of where we've been, but it doesnt need to dictate us where we are going..

 

people say that time heal all wounds, i dont agree..the mind, protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissues... in time wounds heal and the pain lessens, but its never gone..

 

...paano kaya

Pano kya kng di mo nlang sya minahal,pano kya kng di nlang kyo ngkakilala pra mabura nlang sya sa alaala mo..Pano kya kng nung nagkatagpo kayo ibang tao ka ibang tao rn sya, sa ibang pagkkataon,sa ibng lugar,ibang panahon,maiiba dn kaya tdhana nyo kmay mo nba hwak nya,pangaln m nba ang bukambbg nya,kw nb ang nsa tabi nya,ung kaakap nya,kw nb ung dahilan ng mga ngiti nya, o kw pa rn ba ang dahilan bt mas pinili nyang magmahal ng iba