Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
the times when I cheat part 4
So I deviced a plan, that we will meet up. We then exchange information as to when and where and I had a lot of excuses just for him not to continue but he was persuasive about it and he even suggested a place at some cheap motel. I just ignored him. Friday morning came and I was so excited that its gonna be the last day of work. I was about to sleep when my sun phone got a text message from him greeting me goodmorning. He didnt even greet me on my original phone. And so I said that to myself that this is gonna be it. i replied and the response that I got was asking me about the hot friend of mine and if we will push through with the meet up later that afternoon. I was really on rage that time that i said yes and its then gonna be the conclusion of this plan. He was very eager to hear my voice so i got one neighbor to talk to him and he was partly convinced that its the real thing. He was then asking to hear the voice of my friend and he was really anxious about it, and to my rage I revealed myself.
He was shocked upon hearing my voice and he then told me that he was just playing my game. i did not believe him, who would right? It was really amazing how mean would be able to turn the story around and lets you become the culprit. He told me that he was just really pissed about what I did so he just played the game. If he was playing the game, he wouldnt delete the comments that I wrote on his wall saying that i will text him, that we will meet up soon. And he would not be giving his number in the first place and then telling me that he didnt. There were a lot of factors that would tell that his guilty and at the endpoint of it all, he congratulated me that I have won. he admitted that he was just curious about it. If he was just curious about who is texting him, after a lot of replies from me then the curiousity would just die out if, it was just plain curioiusity; but it was not. Then the regular lines that men would say, " if you dont believe me, in cant force you, its up to you," all the more that i am pissed. I decided that we meet up for us to really sort this thing off. And he was at first afraid that i will do something but I threatened him that if he does not show up, then it would be more damaging on his part considering that he is a soccer player.
He then showed up. the first exchange of words was like apologetic because he knew that he was really wrong. Men wouldnt really admit that they were wrong. But I was able to let him and it was really satisfying on my part.He even admitted to me that before when he had girlfriends, he would still look for other girls and fuck around. But the good thing about is that now, that he have me, he wouldnt. He really wouldnt admit, all that he is admitting is that he is just bored and wants a textmate and he has no plans of meeting up because he knows his limitations. After saying those words, I opted to give him another chance and I told him that the next time that it happens, no words from me, his body will just be floating at some random creek in the city and he was shocked upon hearing those words but he was able to gain back his cool and said" of course im confidence, i love you" And so we were able to sort things out and then we separated ways.
But today is my off but no shadow of him showing on my place. I told him that i would love to hear his voice over my window waking me up but it never happened.I woke up with a heavy heart again. I opted to open MIRC and luckily after 5 minutes someone wants to meet up. It was just near my place so its fine. When I got to meet him, he was more than just fine, he was hot! I asked him why he wants to do it and he just said that he had a problem as well with his girl. i said it was fine and when we started doing it, he was like shouting and cursing and good thing that there was rain because surely if there was none, neighbors would hear him. After like 5 mins of doing it to him, he told me that he wants to do it in the back and i just said yes given that it really big. But he didnt last long and exploded inside me. I asked him how was the level of service that i gave him and i got a kiss. He then bid his goodbye and promised me that there will be then a lot of time that we will do it. ooopps, now I have my 2nd FB,haha. tell next time.
He was shocked upon hearing my voice and he then told me that he was just playing my game. i did not believe him, who would right? It was really amazing how mean would be able to turn the story around and lets you become the culprit. He told me that he was just really pissed about what I did so he just played the game. If he was playing the game, he wouldnt delete the comments that I wrote on his wall saying that i will text him, that we will meet up soon. And he would not be giving his number in the first place and then telling me that he didnt. There were a lot of factors that would tell that his guilty and at the endpoint of it all, he congratulated me that I have won. he admitted that he was just curious about it. If he was just curious about who is texting him, after a lot of replies from me then the curiousity would just die out if, it was just plain curioiusity; but it was not. Then the regular lines that men would say, " if you dont believe me, in cant force you, its up to you," all the more that i am pissed. I decided that we meet up for us to really sort this thing off. And he was at first afraid that i will do something but I threatened him that if he does not show up, then it would be more damaging on his part considering that he is a soccer player.
He then showed up. the first exchange of words was like apologetic because he knew that he was really wrong. Men wouldnt really admit that they were wrong. But I was able to let him and it was really satisfying on my part.He even admitted to me that before when he had girlfriends, he would still look for other girls and fuck around. But the good thing about is that now, that he have me, he wouldnt. He really wouldnt admit, all that he is admitting is that he is just bored and wants a textmate and he has no plans of meeting up because he knows his limitations. After saying those words, I opted to give him another chance and I told him that the next time that it happens, no words from me, his body will just be floating at some random creek in the city and he was shocked upon hearing those words but he was able to gain back his cool and said" of course im confidence, i love you" And so we were able to sort things out and then we separated ways.
But today is my off but no shadow of him showing on my place. I told him that i would love to hear his voice over my window waking me up but it never happened.I woke up with a heavy heart again. I opted to open MIRC and luckily after 5 minutes someone wants to meet up. It was just near my place so its fine. When I got to meet him, he was more than just fine, he was hot! I asked him why he wants to do it and he just said that he had a problem as well with his girl. i said it was fine and when we started doing it, he was like shouting and cursing and good thing that there was rain because surely if there was none, neighbors would hear him. After like 5 mins of doing it to him, he told me that he wants to do it in the back and i just said yes given that it really big. But he didnt last long and exploded inside me. I asked him how was the level of service that i gave him and i got a kiss. He then bid his goodbye and promised me that there will be then a lot of time that we will do it. ooopps, now I have my 2nd FB,haha. tell next time.
the times when I cheat part 3
I really have a thing with trust issues ever since then. I get annoyed with my boyfriend being around yet he always looks at his phone. A lot of textmates, and when I ask him, they are all just friends. I checked his FB and there were like girls flirting and unluckily, he would really reply and those stuff. I asked him why and he told me that its just FB and it just stays there. I so I trusted him but recently, I couldnt take it anymore when I saw a post in his wall saying thayt she really had a great time with my boyfriend in some place, i checked the time and it was like after 3 hours that my boyfriend told me that he will sleep already since it was a long day for him. And that blew me away.
So i decided to to create a dummy FB account right at that moment. I started adding friends whom I dont know for almost everyday and right after a week, I had like 100 friends already. Then i added him up. after 3 days, he accepted me and like the usual thing, messaged him on private and thanked him for accepting my request. I asked some personal information, and everytime he responds, its tearing me down but I have to do this. I commented on his pictures.and it was okay for him. Then it was the time for me to asked his number and he did! he actually did with no hesitation. The next day we were together and he told me about this gay who befriended him on FB and is asking for his number and all, and I asked him, " well, did you gave your number?" and with conviction, he said "hindi", and that almost crushed my heart, goodthing I was able to control myself. after we separated ways , i constantly text him and he always replies, I asked him if we could meet up and he said NO!, at first it felt good but I took it to the next level, I offered him a deal, that i knew a girl whose really game and all and that ill let him do my friend in return ill be the one next. With no hesistations he replied "Gooow!!!!". That broke my heart. I said to my self, well he is not really deserving. I didnt text him for 2 days and I constantly get a text from him from then dummy sun number that I had, compared to the original number.It really annoys me when he will say to me original number that he will concentrate on his class yet after 2 minutes, i recieve a text from him in my dummy sun number that he is bored. It really pissed me off that I decided to just end the relationship.
So i decided to to create a dummy FB account right at that moment. I started adding friends whom I dont know for almost everyday and right after a week, I had like 100 friends already. Then i added him up. after 3 days, he accepted me and like the usual thing, messaged him on private and thanked him for accepting my request. I asked some personal information, and everytime he responds, its tearing me down but I have to do this. I commented on his pictures.and it was okay for him. Then it was the time for me to asked his number and he did! he actually did with no hesitation. The next day we were together and he told me about this gay who befriended him on FB and is asking for his number and all, and I asked him, " well, did you gave your number?" and with conviction, he said "hindi", and that almost crushed my heart, goodthing I was able to control myself. after we separated ways , i constantly text him and he always replies, I asked him if we could meet up and he said NO!, at first it felt good but I took it to the next level, I offered him a deal, that i knew a girl whose really game and all and that ill let him do my friend in return ill be the one next. With no hesistations he replied "Gooow!!!!". That broke my heart. I said to my self, well he is not really deserving. I didnt text him for 2 days and I constantly get a text from him from then dummy sun number that I had, compared to the original number.It really annoys me when he will say to me original number that he will concentrate on his class yet after 2 minutes, i recieve a text from him in my dummy sun number that he is bored. It really pissed me off that I decided to just end the relationship.
the times when I cheat part 2
And so my yosi boy was right. He is really looking forward for it happen since when he has no class, he will just go to my place and dot dot dot!.
Sometimes, he will just caught me offguard and wants me to go to his place since he just woke up and that he needs help. i felt so lucky that I met this guy yet he is just a fucking buddy and nothing else. He doesnt have a girlfriend since he does not want complications.I respected his opinion and still hoping that it will change. our latest was yesterday when me and my boyfriend had a really big fight about his textmates and meeting them up. Its gonna be another post though,haha. I was really shocked that he asked if he could get a video of me, doing it, i was hesitant at first but I said yes after getting his personal information as well as his address for me to be able to kill him once that video gets out, haha. But he promised me that it will just be for his consumption if say for example I'm not available, and by the way he delivered his lines, i believed him. It was really a different feeling when your doing it and theres a video, its awkward at first but its fun and it adds up to the thrill.
Oh well, again, Im not a cheater only when I feel that my partner is not giving me what i should deserve. Im not even asking for his whole time yet he still cant give me that. I have a recent encounter just right about before I started visiting this blogsite. And thats gonna be on the part 3.
Sometimes, he will just caught me offguard and wants me to go to his place since he just woke up and that he needs help. i felt so lucky that I met this guy yet he is just a fucking buddy and nothing else. He doesnt have a girlfriend since he does not want complications.I respected his opinion and still hoping that it will change. our latest was yesterday when me and my boyfriend had a really big fight about his textmates and meeting them up. Its gonna be another post though,haha. I was really shocked that he asked if he could get a video of me, doing it, i was hesitant at first but I said yes after getting his personal information as well as his address for me to be able to kill him once that video gets out, haha. But he promised me that it will just be for his consumption if say for example I'm not available, and by the way he delivered his lines, i believed him. It was really a different feeling when your doing it and theres a video, its awkward at first but its fun and it adds up to the thrill.
Oh well, again, Im not a cheater only when I feel that my partner is not giving me what i should deserve. Im not even asking for his whole time yet he still cant give me that. I have a recent encounter just right about before I started visiting this blogsite. And thats gonna be on the part 3.
the times when I cheat
cheating is bad but i gotta do it.
For every action there is an equal reaction.
I dont know if I'm just justifying the times when I cheat but it feels good and lets me be sane. Dont get me wrong, I dont cheat that often but only when my boyfriend doesnt do whats right in our retlationship. I have a boyfriend for 5 months now and yes we are happy generally but there are just some floss on the relationship.
I cheated not only once but a lot of times, which means that there were a lot of instances as well that my boyfriend had some wrong doings as well. To start of with the story, we were only 4 months that time and we had a really really big fight and we opted to separate ways. We've said our goodbyes and to me, that was it. Im really the bitch type so that night I just planned to buy load in a store right across the street, I was there waiting for my turn since there was this guys back blocking me since he was writing his number on a paper for his load. i waited and when he turned back, I was like, oh my!, he is so hot!damn. These are the times that people like us would really thank god.haha. so there it was my time. but i was really clever i got his phone number right after he left. And there I was with my evil plan. When I got home, I immediately texted him and normally people would reply asking who?, i introduced myself and he just laughed and told me to screw myself, at first that was really fine with me but I dont know what happened that after an hour he forwarded me a group message, and so I did some drama and asked him who he was and he just replied you texted me first. And so i decided to cut the drama and just go on with my plan. We exchanged information and all and after 30 minutes of texting, he then told me that its almost midnight and he needs to sleep since he still has a class the next morning. I told him okay and asked one last question; if he smokes. The reply was favorable and we had the same test but unluckily for him he didt had one since its midnight and the stores are closed. I offered him one stick for a meet-up and luckily this time, he said yes. His place is just a walking distance from my place and in no time, he was there at our doorstep. We were talking and laughing at first and that it was his first time to meet up with someone.
I explained to him that its fine and that I'm not some killer and all and he just laughed. One thing led to another, a stick after a stick and we arrived to checking out our phones. I showed him mine and he immediately checked if I had porn in it and luckily I copied 2 videos the past week. O he was enjoying the videos and our topic went to sex. He admitted that he already has sexual experience with mutants so I said thats great but he then stopped me and said, its just a trip, only when im up for it. And I just said, oh well, is this the perfect time now, you,me, cold evening; and he just laughed. I said that we"ll just try if it stands and he poistively responded to my offer, and so there we found ourselves in my dim room colored blue and I was taking his clothes off, he just whispered to me, "galingan mo ah", it really turned me on and when I removed his shorts, damn! mama mia! its as strong as a steel and very hot! he was just smiling and challenge me to do the best I can. With mo further adieu , I did my thing and he was like shouting and cursing and in 5 mins, he came. He was really laughing and blaming me and saying "ikaw talaga" with a smirked. I asked him how was my performance and he said, that was the best compared to the 2 previous experience and that he is looking forward to it the next time.
For every action there is an equal reaction.
I dont know if I'm just justifying the times when I cheat but it feels good and lets me be sane. Dont get me wrong, I dont cheat that often but only when my boyfriend doesnt do whats right in our retlationship. I have a boyfriend for 5 months now and yes we are happy generally but there are just some floss on the relationship.
I cheated not only once but a lot of times, which means that there were a lot of instances as well that my boyfriend had some wrong doings as well. To start of with the story, we were only 4 months that time and we had a really really big fight and we opted to separate ways. We've said our goodbyes and to me, that was it. Im really the bitch type so that night I just planned to buy load in a store right across the street, I was there waiting for my turn since there was this guys back blocking me since he was writing his number on a paper for his load. i waited and when he turned back, I was like, oh my!, he is so hot!damn. These are the times that people like us would really thank god.haha. so there it was my time. but i was really clever i got his phone number right after he left. And there I was with my evil plan. When I got home, I immediately texted him and normally people would reply asking who?, i introduced myself and he just laughed and told me to screw myself, at first that was really fine with me but I dont know what happened that after an hour he forwarded me a group message, and so I did some drama and asked him who he was and he just replied you texted me first. And so i decided to cut the drama and just go on with my plan. We exchanged information and all and after 30 minutes of texting, he then told me that its almost midnight and he needs to sleep since he still has a class the next morning. I told him okay and asked one last question; if he smokes. The reply was favorable and we had the same test but unluckily for him he didt had one since its midnight and the stores are closed. I offered him one stick for a meet-up and luckily this time, he said yes. His place is just a walking distance from my place and in no time, he was there at our doorstep. We were talking and laughing at first and that it was his first time to meet up with someone.
I explained to him that its fine and that I'm not some killer and all and he just laughed. One thing led to another, a stick after a stick and we arrived to checking out our phones. I showed him mine and he immediately checked if I had porn in it and luckily I copied 2 videos the past week. O he was enjoying the videos and our topic went to sex. He admitted that he already has sexual experience with mutants so I said thats great but he then stopped me and said, its just a trip, only when im up for it. And I just said, oh well, is this the perfect time now, you,me, cold evening; and he just laughed. I said that we"ll just try if it stands and he poistively responded to my offer, and so there we found ourselves in my dim room colored blue and I was taking his clothes off, he just whispered to me, "galingan mo ah", it really turned me on and when I removed his shorts, damn! mama mia! its as strong as a steel and very hot! he was just smiling and challenge me to do the best I can. With mo further adieu , I did my thing and he was like shouting and cursing and in 5 mins, he came. He was really laughing and blaming me and saying "ikaw talaga" with a smirked. I asked him how was my performance and he said, that was the best compared to the 2 previous experience and that he is looking forward to it the next time.
when they found out
i went back to out place to have the 40 days of my mom. At that time, my boyfriend was there since did I not mention that we are from the same place. I invited him over to see our house and hopefully to get to know my sister and my dad. And so he was there, eating and I was busy entertaining him and all the other guests and relatives, I was taking a shot here and there and I didnt notice that I was getting drunk after each and every shot I took, I dont know why. Everything turned black and the next thing I knew was that I was in my room with my cousin, changing my clothes.
Flashback.....
During the morning , everyone was just casual and I asked my boyfriend what happened last night. He was not replying and so I called him. He asked me if I could come over his house and he will just tell me everything there.
And so I went. He then told me that I was so drunk the last night and that I was asking him if he loves me a lot of times and all my relatives were already staring at him.He told me that I was asking for a kiss in front of everyone to prove that he really loved me. He didnt knew what to do that time so he just left.
It was really amazing what happened to me that night and I good thing though, I didnt even heard a word coming from my family about it. And now they know,who I really am, so what, as long as I dont kill anyone or step on others, thats fine with me.
Flashback.....
During the morning , everyone was just casual and I asked my boyfriend what happened last night. He was not replying and so I called him. He asked me if I could come over his house and he will just tell me everything there.
And so I went. He then told me that I was so drunk the last night and that I was asking him if he loves me a lot of times and all my relatives were already staring at him.He told me that I was asking for a kiss in front of everyone to prove that he really loved me. He didnt knew what to do that time so he just left.
It was really amazing what happened to me that night and I good thing though, I didnt even heard a word coming from my family about it. And now they know,who I really am, so what, as long as I dont kill anyone or step on others, thats fine with me.
the ride goin home
it was the day that i was really wanting to go home since mom is almost there, she has been in the ICU for over a month and it was the day that we did loose her. Flights were unavailable so i have to take a boat to my hometown. Good thing I was with my cousin that time so its not that hurting to travel alone knowing that I have lost one very important person of my life. We were just in our cabin, my cousin slept since she havent had any sleepy the previous night, i tried to myself but I just cant.
I opted to go out and take a smoke and have a one on one talk with myself. There were a lot of people talking laughing and most, taking pictures. I was the only one with no company and I said to myself that I guess i needed it that time. I was finishing my marloboro tens pack when i guy approached me and asked me if i had a light. and so we talked. he was just staring at me since in the first place he didnt understood what I was talking. He then begged me to just say it in tagalog.
we laughed and exchange stories about life and love, and of course, sex. I found out that he was not from cebu and he was just traveling for a meeting since he is the regional guy assigned in there company for visayas. he is taking a boat trrip to cagayan de oro since his girl is from there. I was amazed, i mean really amazed about his lifestyle, he had a lot of businesses, even exporting coffee to New Zealand to name a few apart from his being a manager. And did i mention that he is only 29 , hot, goodlooking and had a very very nice body. He is one of the socialites in manila, playing with the local celebrities we have, out of town trips with known people in the country and he has all the pictures to show it to me. He was just laughing on my astonishment. I was asking a lot of questions and he just said, " cut the crap, I know what you really want and good for you, taglibog ako ngayon". I froze and i said oh well, i do but i still would want to know as a person you know. He just laughed about it and stood and with one nod on his head, i knew he was really up for it.
And i found myself in his cabin, it was really awkward that time, having this hot guy in front of you, half naked and changing, oh holy lord! thank you! I said to myself. He then offered me a beer, and so we continued chatting about my life since all I did outside was to ask about his.After 4 cans each of beer, he then said told me to do what i wanna do. I was really shocked that a guy like this would be asking me first
. But it was really just shocking that I was not able to say something, all the more when he removed his boxers and there you go, right in front of me, a very generous blessing given to me, and he said" ano pa ang hinihintay mo, kiss?, and I said to myself, oh well, here you go. I started licking his body and I guess he liked it the way I did since he was really cursing and all. He was pushing my head down and I really knew that he was really horny already. Istarted sucking him slow and the fast, then slow and boy! I can really give a good service since he is really cursing. I decided to give him a rim since well his clean and so i did it. He was then very furios that time and was horny that he opted to offer, take note, he then offered to do me behind. I hesistated at first since his thing is big but eventually i did. It took him only around 7 minutes and dot dot dot!!! with a bang, he came. He was just laughing after and said, when he comes back to cebu, we would then do it at my place.
I then went back to my place and we said our goodbyes, up til now, we still exchange sms every once in awhile.Looking forward for our next encounter.
I opted to go out and take a smoke and have a one on one talk with myself. There were a lot of people talking laughing and most, taking pictures. I was the only one with no company and I said to myself that I guess i needed it that time. I was finishing my marloboro tens pack when i guy approached me and asked me if i had a light. and so we talked. he was just staring at me since in the first place he didnt understood what I was talking. He then begged me to just say it in tagalog.
we laughed and exchange stories about life and love, and of course, sex. I found out that he was not from cebu and he was just traveling for a meeting since he is the regional guy assigned in there company for visayas. he is taking a boat trrip to cagayan de oro since his girl is from there. I was amazed, i mean really amazed about his lifestyle, he had a lot of businesses, even exporting coffee to New Zealand to name a few apart from his being a manager. And did i mention that he is only 29 , hot, goodlooking and had a very very nice body. He is one of the socialites in manila, playing with the local celebrities we have, out of town trips with known people in the country and he has all the pictures to show it to me. He was just laughing on my astonishment. I was asking a lot of questions and he just said, " cut the crap, I know what you really want and good for you, taglibog ako ngayon". I froze and i said oh well, i do but i still would want to know as a person you know. He just laughed about it and stood and with one nod on his head, i knew he was really up for it.
And i found myself in his cabin, it was really awkward that time, having this hot guy in front of you, half naked and changing, oh holy lord! thank you! I said to myself. He then offered me a beer, and so we continued chatting about my life since all I did outside was to ask about his.After 4 cans each of beer, he then said told me to do what i wanna do. I was really shocked that a guy like this would be asking me first
. But it was really just shocking that I was not able to say something, all the more when he removed his boxers and there you go, right in front of me, a very generous blessing given to me, and he said" ano pa ang hinihintay mo, kiss?, and I said to myself, oh well, here you go. I started licking his body and I guess he liked it the way I did since he was really cursing and all. He was pushing my head down and I really knew that he was really horny already. Istarted sucking him slow and the fast, then slow and boy! I can really give a good service since he is really cursing. I decided to give him a rim since well his clean and so i did it. He was then very furios that time and was horny that he opted to offer, take note, he then offered to do me behind. I hesistated at first since his thing is big but eventually i did. It took him only around 7 minutes and dot dot dot!!! with a bang, he came. He was just laughing after and said, when he comes back to cebu, we would then do it at my place.
I then went back to my place and we said our goodbyes, up til now, we still exchange sms every once in awhile.Looking forward for our next encounter.
almost 4 months
its right about almost 4 months that i was not able to write a blog, good thing i was able to remember my password. It would be very devastating not to be able to log in knowing that this blogsite is somehow has been part of my life.
a lot of things has happened to me for the past 4 months of my life, and im gonna recall it all.
there was a time when i met a stranger at a boat, i lost my mom, we need to pay over a million for the hospitalization, i almost got the Australia Travel for free which i didnt since I dont have a passport. a lot of things really and i'm gonna tell it all here.
a lot of things has happened to me for the past 4 months of my life, and im gonna recall it all.
there was a time when i met a stranger at a boat, i lost my mom, we need to pay over a million for the hospitalization, i almost got the Australia Travel for free which i didnt since I dont have a passport. a lot of things really and i'm gonna tell it all here.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Death
Two hours before the 24th hour of my mom's death. Am staring right now at her coffin, regrets and a lot of regrets im feeling now. Im flooded by it. What could have happened if i was here on time. Could i have saved her life? Im blaming myself now for all the promises i had given her yet only partial came true. Trying to be strong for my sis and specialy my dad. I know that i'm hurting right not but i know that dad's been devastated. He loved my mom, there's no question about. I mean he never stoped lover her until the last breath. As per my dad, they were not able to talk before she left, they were just staring at each other during her last minutes since my mom could not speak, a stare, and that was it. She left us. She's gone. And we never, ever would see her again. Writing this now is accompanied by a heavy heart and a lot of tears. Goodbye mom, goodbye. How i wish you could have survived. I will always cherish you in my heart till the day i die.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
...quotations2
"sometimes you cant have what you want when you want it...but that doesnt mean you can never have it..everything takes place at the right time....its not NO, its just NOT NOW...
I believe that everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe inlies so you can learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things....can fall together..
scars remid us of where we've been, but it doesnt need to dictate us where we are going..
people say that time heal all wounds, i dont agree..the mind, protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissues... in time wounds heal and the pain lessens, but its never gone..
...paano kaya
Pano kya kng di mo nlang sya minahal,pano kya kng di nlang kyo ngkakilala pra mabura nlang sya sa alaala mo..Pano kya kng nung nagkatagpo kayo ibang tao ka ibang tao rn sya, sa ibang pagkkataon,sa ibng lugar,ibang panahon,maiiba dn kaya tdhana nyo kmay mo nba hwak nya,pangaln m nba ang bukambbg nya,kw nb ang nsa tabi nya,ung kaakap nya,kw nb ung dahilan ng mga ngiti nya, o kw pa rn ba ang dahilan bt mas pinili nyang magmahal ng iba
...a note from the heart
..you may not be his first, his last, or his only. He loved before, he may love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He's not perrfect, you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break; his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect more that he can give. Smile when he makes you happy. Let him know when he makes you mad and miss him when he's not there.....pak! veyga ra..hehe..
.,...him
i ws nt aware dt he cAme only 2 luv me 4awyl..i ws aiming 2b w/ hm 4evr bt he's n0t wiLin 2wrk 8 ol out..wyl i ws busy planng 4 us, he ws bz planng hs lyf w/ an0thr gurl.. it hurts t0o much bt ol i cn do s watch hm walk away..n dts d end of 8. dr g0es my 4evr..dr g0s my lyf i knw he's g0ne, bt m stl hurtng & i feel so br0ken,8s tru dt wen u felt luv & lost it,8s hardr evrytym u try 2 mov on, u cnt slip & do d thngs u lyk 2 do,u alwys wnt 2 stay seatd lukng bck 2 dos tyms u felt lyk ur d hapiest prson...
......oftntyms,u end up goin crazy,u cnt xplain wats hapenin 2 u,u cnt help bt thnk of d prson u luv evryday,evrynyt, & u jst cnt get ovr,
wd dis,gos 1 phrase,
"movin on" s nvr easy,8 nvr was & it wil nvr b.
......oftntyms,u end up goin crazy,u cnt xplain wats hapenin 2 u,u cnt help bt thnk of d prson u luv evryday,evrynyt, & u jst cnt get ovr,
wd dis,gos 1 phrase,
"movin on" s nvr easy,8 nvr was & it wil nvr b.
..my ken..part 2
..well here I am continuing what i had started..my life right now is all on a whirlwind situation with my ken...
i thought that we will be happy since the girl broke up with him on the day that we will be going to moalboal since , hmmm, inthe first place i kinda figured it out that saturday is there dating time so i kinda pulled out some strings that we willhave the outing saturday..,my plan did worked out and there...he was a bit teary eyed in the van , squeezing my hand and whispering..." please dont leave me...she left me , i know im a bit selfish, but please dont leave me" and i just kissed him...we did had a good time in our weekend getaway and i thought that it will really last. However i thought wrong since the girl was really that persistent to have him back. A call here and there, sms,,,ughhh..i hate it. I want toi kill her, but my ken promised not to reply to any of her messages and dont even bother answering the call... and so i stupidly did what he said. But somehow i have the is gut feeling that when he gets home, he will really talk to the girl and I was right. I gave him a week off..just a couple of days ago, I found out from the girl herself that they got back together..it was so tragic and the world fell upon me, but madness , envy and fury cuddled my mind and I was about to kill him. at first he didnt confided , but for the evidence that I have had laid on him, he was cornered, He reasoned out that because of me promising him something that I was not able to gave him, another reason which i think he can think off that time since he was caught off guard was that he would get back at the girl for hurting him...which I thought very illogical since what the girl just did was to break up with him and thats just it, he's making it more complicated for me to think that his real reason was that, to get back at her...but i didnt bought it. He told me that he loved me with a bit of tears in his eyes but still i cant seem to believe anymore, even the fact that he did invited me to the wake of his grandfather with all the realtives knowing that I am the gay lover, but it still doesnt counfnt.Maybe Im just too complicated to love. We were supposed to meet a couple of hours ago but his phone was off, I tried calling his cousin and was told that he was not inthe wake the whole night and thathe came around 9 oclock in the morning which tells me that he was with that bitch since the phone was off the whole time friday evening..oh well, its his loss,not me......
these and all are only what I feel for now and are subject to change depending onthe expaination and depending on how I would take it..till the next continuation of my very exciting adventure with my ken..when all i got is but heartache and trouble...sad face...
i thought that we will be happy since the girl broke up with him on the day that we will be going to moalboal since , hmmm, inthe first place i kinda figured it out that saturday is there dating time so i kinda pulled out some strings that we willhave the outing saturday..,my plan did worked out and there...he was a bit teary eyed in the van , squeezing my hand and whispering..." please dont leave me...she left me , i know im a bit selfish, but please dont leave me" and i just kissed him...we did had a good time in our weekend getaway and i thought that it will really last. However i thought wrong since the girl was really that persistent to have him back. A call here and there, sms,,,ughhh..i hate it. I want toi kill her, but my ken promised not to reply to any of her messages and dont even bother answering the call... and so i stupidly did what he said. But somehow i have the is gut feeling that when he gets home, he will really talk to the girl and I was right. I gave him a week off..just a couple of days ago, I found out from the girl herself that they got back together..it was so tragic and the world fell upon me, but madness , envy and fury cuddled my mind and I was about to kill him. at first he didnt confided , but for the evidence that I have had laid on him, he was cornered, He reasoned out that because of me promising him something that I was not able to gave him, another reason which i think he can think off that time since he was caught off guard was that he would get back at the girl for hurting him...which I thought very illogical since what the girl just did was to break up with him and thats just it, he's making it more complicated for me to think that his real reason was that, to get back at her...but i didnt bought it. He told me that he loved me with a bit of tears in his eyes but still i cant seem to believe anymore, even the fact that he did invited me to the wake of his grandfather with all the realtives knowing that I am the gay lover, but it still doesnt counfnt.Maybe Im just too complicated to love. We were supposed to meet a couple of hours ago but his phone was off, I tried calling his cousin and was told that he was not inthe wake the whole night and thathe came around 9 oclock in the morning which tells me that he was with that bitch since the phone was off the whole time friday evening..oh well, its his loss,not me......
these and all are only what I feel for now and are subject to change depending onthe expaination and depending on how I would take it..till the next continuation of my very exciting adventure with my ken..when all i got is but heartache and trouble...sad face...
...my ken
..8s rily amazing hw d game of lyf called fate plays a very big role n our existence...im amazed at hw 2 pipol wd 2 difrnt worlds mit up ang feels d chemistry frm wid n. . , and then d story begins...
my story starts wid a simple plot of a guy mits guy scenario n a plain setting whch led to getting to know and jamin sesions wid a bit of sexual scenes...but d story never ends there....
...as we go along wd geting to knw we came acros dis thng called love whch led to a lot of complications n my lyf ryt nw...8 was my first tym of being d 3rd party unknowingly, n hav i not acted on it ryt away,i wouldnt knw, tnx to facebook...
...but d plot thickens as i unravel d mystery of his personality whch led me to a decision of parting ways and ending it all up...but i never expected.'
.,i never expectd that he wud cling on to me like that, and that his feelings 4 me wer true.,he would not let me go, and i couldnt either...now im hanging by a thread frm the decision that ive made.,should i be hapy dat he wants me bt stil cnt let go of d other girl or shud i juz be contentd....
..,the story stops frm hir for d meantym....all i knw is ive given him my heart and he has given his, tho nt wholeheartdly,bt dats fine, i hav loved him wid all my mind,heart and soul,..and to me that has always been enough..
...
my story starts wid a simple plot of a guy mits guy scenario n a plain setting whch led to getting to know and jamin sesions wid a bit of sexual scenes...but d story never ends there....
...as we go along wd geting to knw we came acros dis thng called love whch led to a lot of complications n my lyf ryt nw...8 was my first tym of being d 3rd party unknowingly, n hav i not acted on it ryt away,i wouldnt knw, tnx to facebook...
...but d plot thickens as i unravel d mystery of his personality whch led me to a decision of parting ways and ending it all up...but i never expected.'
.,i never expectd that he wud cling on to me like that, and that his feelings 4 me wer true.,he would not let me go, and i couldnt either...now im hanging by a thread frm the decision that ive made.,should i be hapy dat he wants me bt stil cnt let go of d other girl or shud i juz be contentd....
..,the story stops frm hir for d meantym....all i knw is ive given him my heart and he has given his, tho nt wholeheartdly,bt dats fine, i hav loved him wid all my mind,heart and soul,..and to me that has always been enough..
...
...quotations
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,Who never did,Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Who matters,Who never did,Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
...all bout him
the nex postings that im gonna post are those from my facebook account , you know sometimes help me remember how emotional I am. enjoy reading....
Sunday, June 20, 2010
finishing off the rest of the year...
..I have planned to start the year with no complications but the other way happened. There was a lot in it that I thought I would not see another day. But thanks to my friends that somehow believed in me that I managed to survive. And now I'm planning to finish the year with no complications at all. I have a guy right now and I dont know what our score is but I'll just keep it simple and just stick to him till the year ends. I hope I can end the year with him. His young and is still not sure with his emotions but I can tell, I can surely tell that he somehow feels something for me. His not just ready yet to what other people might say. Til next time. ";)
Friday, March 19, 2010
a night to remember...
Its was really an amazing night to remember. We started the session around 6 PM and it was a bit awkward talking to new faces. I only know one person, that was Honey, she is the younger sister of my friend . She was the one who invited these cool, young and amazing looking people in my domain.hehe... We were five. We started chatting and getting to know, asking stuff , you know the usual. I had an eye on Bryan. His cute and all, but what amazes me is that the way he looks at me is differrent. The look of seduction. And so the night is on, there we are, a bit tipsy. The story starts here. While I'm busy getting to know Bryan, I noticed that the other guy , who was busy tlaking with the other girl was now starting to ask me questions and I noticed that he is cute as well, in fact he is much more sexually attractive to me. Oh boy, I really happen to have a very healthy sexual appettite.hehe.. And so , I confronted Bryan if he is into me and he said yes but his not into the sexual thing so I then shifted my interest to this other guy, his name is Grant. His hot, nice body and very attractive in packaging.hehe... and he can sing. And so we were on to our second bottle of tanduay and I started asking queswtions about his sexual life and that he is still virgin about the same sex. By hearing those words, I was amazed and a plan came in just like that.hehe.. He was drunk and now the plan is perfect. He was really drunk so I offered my room. We finished the second b ottle and I decided that we should stop and have a good night rest since its already raining. They decided to stay in the house and it was fine by me. I got insi9de the room and I just remembered that Grant was there. I said "perfect". I closed the door said goodnight to the other people outside and what happened inside the room was one of the most amazing nights of my life. If only the walls can speak and react. Performer is the word!hahaha..
---rest day---
Am on my second day of RD..just woke up with head spinning round due what happened last night. 8 long necks of Tanduay we did conquer and I aouldnt believe it my self and there were only 5 of us. It was really amazing when I woke up and saw all those bottles scattred around the living room and I was like "man..I got really drank last night.." I cant vividly can remember if it was really true that I was kissing Bryan, all I can clearly see is that we were flirting and gigling and doing stuff in from of our friends.It was fun but I cant be into him since his a very very complicated person to love. Its fun being with him but thats it. Now another schedule of "tagay" session is up around an hour from now and I'm looking forward to it. haha.. This is gonna be another friday night of my life, hope this is gonna be an interesting one.hehe..Am gonna go ahead and hit the showers now and be prepared to what might happen during the session. Till next time!
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